Lou Cutler

The phrase 'coming out' was never something that resonated with me. It's only retrospectively that I realize I actually even did it. I can remember internally identifying as a boy as far back as age 5. It was 1985. There were no words for my experience; no trans people to see on tv, in the news, on the radio, or in person. I have the personal narrative of always knowing I was a boy. I was hyper masculine growing up. I have the personal narrative of never identifying as gay pre-transition. I do not identify as GQ, NB, or GNC. In 2001 I think I told my parents I was attracted to both men and women. It was the most sense I could make of my experience. In 2003 I came OUT first to my mom, but I did not come out as 'trans' because I didn't know the word existed. I came out as 'I need to have my chest cut off or I'm going to kill myself'. Life had become utterly unbearable. 💔 She had never heard of such a thing and had no idea what to do. Shortly after that I met a trans man in person for the first time and began to make sense of my experience. I had top surgery in 2003, and began HRT in 2004. I did not have a lot of support, and there were no smart phones. I wish at the time I had known @roccokatastropheexisted! He's the only person on instagram (that I can think of) who is my age and transitioned *before* me. Years after transitioning I came out as Gay, but that coming out was subtle and quiet. In the summer of 2014 I became the first trans man crowned 👑Mr Gay Philadelphia. Online articles published the story world-wide (literally) and then I was OUT TO THE WORLD!! 🙀😺

What a journey. Shit is really hard sometimes, but this is my story and this is my life. It has made me the guy I am today. Thank you to all you brave souls putting in the work and doing your part to better this planet, in whatever way that comes through for you. Happy #nationalcomingoutday to all of you


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