A lot of people will tell you, "You have no reason to be upset, someone has got it worse." While I'm sure this is true (other people have had it a lot worse than I do), I like to use my coming out story to coach others that are in a similar situation, or are working on becoming comfortable enough with their sexuality to the point where they can come out. When I was 13, I started noticing girls one hell of a lot more than I noticed guys. How, you ask? In the 8th grade, I went over my boyfriend's house to go swimming. The problem... his sister was there... in a bikini. A year later at the ripe age of 14, I got into a long distance relationship with a girl that lived over 1000 miles away from me whom I had met on the internet. This was (and is not) uncommon. I fell in love, hard. After about a year of keeping this "shameful" secret from my parents and friends, I came out to my best friend. 2 months later, my cousin. A month later... my parents. This encounter ended with a flood of tears, and less than 24 hours later my mother looked me in the eyes and told me she hated me for the first time. She told me I was a mistake. That she wouldn't accept me. My parents took me to therapy to address my "problem," and took my cell phone. Without a goodbye, all contact was cut between my girlfriend & I. For a year, my mother didn't speak to me. Her nicotine addiction began to flare up after years of quitting. Some nights I'd come home and the win bottle would be open entirely too early. For a while, my parent's marriage was borderline unhealthy. My parents threatened to make me transfer schools for fear that my friends were encouraging my life of "flagrant sin." For a year, they made me cut off all contact with the more accepting part of my family. 3 years later at the ripe age of 18, and their Catholic blood still boils. I am happily in love now with the girl of my dreams who only lives 15 minutes from me rather than 15 hours. But despite my hapiness, I still struggle with my parents. I sneak around to see my girlfriend often & cannot be fully out on any social media (besides tumblr) or within the community. My message to a younger me & a baby gay (or bi, or trans, or any others!) The more you struggle, the more you will come into yourself. If not for my parents oppression, I would not be comfortable in my own skin. I love to kiss girls... and there's nothing my parents could change about that. Try to understand their position, you will grow as a person. But do not change yourself. How youre feeling is normal, acceptable, and so unique! It will hurt if your parents reject you, but they don't define you. And hey, they might come around. And if you're struggling to come out: Take your time. You have all the time in the world. Don't be afraid to be rejected--it's bound to happen! You'll always have an lgbtq family to turn to. I've come to learn that our little community is the friendliest and most welcoming corner of the Earth. We love you! I love you! & please, please work on loving yourself too. It's worth it. To anyone with questions, comments, or looking to make a friend: Message me on tumblr! I pinky promise I'll respond. My blog is less-hate-more-lesbians

Much love, Kyra


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