Elle Diablo

Last year, around this time, I was sweating about coming out to my mom as a way to test the waters of eventually coming out to the rest of my family (those who would be most receptive) and friends. My family is very religious and comes from Jamaican and Southern backgrounds, neither of which are very supportive or welcoming of LGBTQ culture sadly. This was a risky move and I was stressed out, and anxious to the point of crying in my therapist's office sick with fear. Eventually, the day before Halloween, I decided to tell my mom. I asked to go out to dinner with her with the plans of telling her in the car once we got to the restaurant. When that plan changed, I decided to improvise and tell her when she got home from work. I was on the verge of tears, terrified of how this could go. She looked at me, afraid-and I would find out later, terrified of what trouble I'd gotten into (such a carribbean mom😂). The worry in her face immediately went away when I told her, "Mom, I'm bisexual. I'm attracted to men and women" (as a simple way to explain it, with plans to break it down better at another point). She paused, looking at me and made a sound like a soft chuckle. Apparently, she had feared I would say something much worse. I burst into tears of relief and we hugged and went out to dinner as planned. A year later, I have become more comfortable with my sexuality and the way I choose to represent myself in general. After overcoming bullying, internalized homophobia, sexual assault and learning to survive with mental illnesses and disabilities, I am no longer afraid or willing to stay quiet. Though I am not out to everyone, I am not willing to sit and worry about those with hate in their heart. I don't have time or energy to waste on that. I will rise above my struggles, because that's all I can do. @ellebiablo98

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