As cheesy as this sounds, I had always felt a little bit different as a kid. It wasn't until about age 13 that I realized my strong desire for, let's just say, intimate friendships with other girls weren't exactly desires of friendships. One year later, at 14, I had decided to come out to my insanely supportive and liberal best freind, Maddy, as gay. Her response was just as I had expected, nothing but love and support, to which I am thankful for to this day.

Today, nearly 3 years later, I am out to my small group of friends. Though I have gained nothing but love and support from my friends (with the exception of a few ignorant comments), any and all physical interaction automatically results in my inner self being convinced that yes, they are indeed uncomfortable, even disgusted by me.

I suppose these are just the inner workings of internalized homophobia, something that I have yet to overcome. I guess the moral of this story is that you can gain the love and support of literally everyone around you, but happiness will not, and cannot come your way unless you accept and love yourself first.


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