So on my high school basketball team, there was this girl that liked me but I didn't like her back, and I told one of my close friends on the team. She then asked me if I was bi and when I said yes, she told me she was too. Then she told me how she was like in love with her best friend and I was like oh damn 😂 (And this whole conversation was going on while we were on the bus to our game).

When we got to the game it was like a normal game and we won, so it was good. Afterward, on the way home I was going to sit by myself but then Celeste (aka my close friend) saw me and said "hey Tris can I sit with you?" I said "sure" so she sat with me and we were talking about the game and then the lights on the bus went out for the drive home. And I was sitting by the window and she was sitting near the aisle.

And she laid her body across my lap so her head was on my lap and I put my arm around her ‘cause I always do that with everyone. Then she decided to hold my hand out of nowhere. I thought she was scared for some reason lol but then she sat up and actually was holding my hand. Then she typed on her phone "is it okay if I can hold your hand?" And I said yeah that's okay only if you want to 😅 and her face like was so red 😂. It was cute.

At one point I was texting my dad so I needed two hands to type and she put her hand on my thigh, like my inner thigh, and that sh** drives me crazy 😻. So I legit froze ‘cause I didn't know what to do. I was in shock haha.

So we stared texting since that night. We texted the whole weekend and she was just so nice to me and I really liked her. Three days later, she finally asked me if we could "date". I was being hard to get like I was messing with her mind (in a good way lol). I said "okay, let's do it" so we were officially "dating" for a good week.

We always hung out with our basketball team ‘cause we had to do, but we would sit a little closer than normal. We would flirt. We were lowkey at the time. Then it happened one game, the yucca valley game. After the game, it was just me and her. We would always hang out after the games. Then she said “Tris I have to go to the bathroom” and I said “okay” so I went with her. So we walk in and she stops in the middle and looks at me and I knew she was gonna kiss me. I just knew it. I was scared sh**less ‘cause what if she thought I was the worst kisser ever?

Anyway, it took a good 10 minutes to finally work up just one kiss ‘cause she knew I was nervous. I was like legit covering my face and I was soo red it was crazy. She was nervous but not as nervous as I was. She put her hand on my chin and she looked at me and I leaned in and we kissed and phewww can I tell you damn! It was amazing!

From that day on, I knew she was the "one" even though it was all cheesy 😂. But when I say it, I mean it. We would always leave our 5th period class to go see EACHOTHER. She was my happiness. She was the reason I would get up in the morning. She'll always have a special place in my heart and she was the love of my life.

We had to break up because her mom didn't like the fact that she was dating another girl. We tried to keep it secret but her mom found out 3 different times. So Celeste had to stop. I still love her to this day. The only thing is, is that she wouldn't give me a chance. I was so good to her. I gave her everything like she was mine. And the fact that I can't say that hurts dude. Yeah people think I "moved on" because I "talk" to people but in reality NO. I dunno, she is like my rock, or was.

She's mad at me at the moment anyway, but I have never made such and effort on a single person. The second to last day before school, she was moving to LA with her dad. I wasn't able to talk to her at school ‘cause if her brother saw us talking he would tell his mom and her mom would beat her (like actually slap her and punch her). That's why she moved with her dad in LA but I thought "I'm never going to see her again!"

So I made like 12 "open when... cards" and I got her 2 naked juices and Reese’s since those are her favorites. I made it and put it in a bag and it was really cute. My mom dropped it off at the office during 5th period and I went to go pick it up and I told my friend to tell Celeste "tell C to go to the bathroom". I was so nervous. I thought she wasn't going to like it or something but I was tying my shoe and I look up and she was coming.

I was supposed to hide it and make her find it, but that didn't happen. She saw it and was so surprised! Her eyes were getting watery when she opened it and she acted like no one else had given her a gift like that. She looked at me and hugged me so tight that I couldn't breathe. Then on the last day of school I got to say bye to her.

She texted me as soon as she got to her dads and I was happy that I was able to talk to her. That weekend she texted me saying she wanted to see me. I said yes, of course. I made a promise to her that whenever she wanted to see me I would go and see her that distance didn't matter to me.

It took a lot of convincing in less than 24 hours to go and see her, but I did and it was amazing. I'll never forget that feeling or moment or day. But what ex would drive 2 hours and 40 minutes to see you for only like 2 hours? I guess I’m just crazy for her. Every time she hugs me I feel safe. That sounds cheesy too but it’s the truth and I feel comfortable. She made me feel so safe! And she gave me forehead kisses, which was just a bonus. She was the love of my life. She was my first love. She made me who I am today like she is amazing. Words can't even begin to describe. I lost a couple of friends throughout my journey ‘cause they didn't support it, but I kept on and am always true to myself.

#bisexual #questioning

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